Friday, July 15, 2005

Easily Led Automatons

I am really just sickened by the amount of remakes set to deluge us in the coming months. That on top of the already "Day After Tomorrow" -worthy destruction remakes have caused in the last 5 years. Do we really need remakes? How hard is it to write an original screenplay? And how many piss poor sequels must I endure until a solid original makes it to the screen? Then, of course, are the trained monkeys who attend to the opening night of "The Longest Yard", unaware it's even a remake. And it does outstanding business. So who's to blame?

It certainly can't be the studios, as much as it pains me to say it. If these vomit inducing remakes and sequels didn't have an audience, then they would not get the funding. So, if I may borrow from Seinfeld, who are these people? Casual movie fans, just looking for a night out? Ugh. I tremble at the thought that there are that many casual movie fans. But obviously, there are, and that's the target audience. They will be the first in line to see the Gladiator sequel. (Yes, apparently there is one in the works) And what of the actual film lover's? Well, I include myself as a film lover, and the last place I'll be seen is in a theatre. And perhaps this is the problem. I can't stand the constant chattering, the inane conversations popping in and out of my ear through an entire movie. One cell phone rings, and I may commit a Valentines Day Massacre. Hell, if someone gets up to use the bathroom during an important scene, my trigger finger itches.

So could this be the divide in quality vs quantity? Is it safer to cater to the casuals, who may or may not see the movie based on a whim and a few choice advertisements, or cater to a more demanding audience, who, if they love the film, will undoubtedly raise the box office gross into the stratosphere, and if we hate it, it may crash and burn opening weekend. Now, it seems to me what they've done is chosen the middle ground. It's the smart move. It's also called the lowest common denominator theory. Make the movie as accessible to as many people as possible. Make the movie PG or at most, PG13. Then release an unrated or extended cut on DVD. That's where the hardcore film lover's come in. That's where they make the money off us. We're, in general, not nearly as finicky when buying a Dvd as opposed to actually sitting at the theatre. We own the movie. And we get special features to boot. It seems worthwhile to buy a DVD for $5 dollars more (at most) than it costs to basically rent it at the theatre.

And this all makes perfect sense, if you think about it. I have to say, the studios know what they're doing. Sadly, this leaves less slots open to writers such as myself, or the countless other's whose Blogs I read each day. And it appears there's no way to stop the shit from rolling down hill.

Get your hiking boots on, because we're going up the hill, backwards.


Anonymous said...

They are remaking films from the 80s now. A giant WTF? Now they cover their tracks by saying they went back to the original source material so it is not technically a re-make (see: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory)

JD said...

I know, it makes me feel ashamed...and I haven't done anything! What's next? Remake The Breakfast Club? The Terminator? Aliens? Where does it end for goodness sake?

Anonymous said...

They actually sat down and fired off Breakfast Club sequel ideas...all the cast got together for a reunion and it flowed from there

JD said...

If John Hughes is involved, I love it. John Bender as the new principal!