Welcome, my friends...and non-friends

When I last attempted to keep my northern buddies from southern Jersey up to date, it ended in a fiery death. I started off with best intentions, but, well you see, I just am not all that stable. We all remember that I made a short movie that was given enthusiastic applause, only to be trumped by the most generic piece of shit I ever witnessed. A standing ovation, this steaming pile of muck received. And, well, I cowered in the face of this, what I deemed, mockery. I closed down my site, regressed into the night with my tail between my legs.

Since then, there have been some very positive things to discuss. Some not so positive as well, such as being forced to drop out of film school because of finances. Good riddance, I say! We also know about my script getting into the hands of all the right people, and seemingly, something COULD happen. But I am grounded. In fact, I am much more than grounded. I am self depreciating to the fucking max. because I'm so afraid to think anything good will happen, and then blow my head up in disappointment. So I am very cautious when dealing with that area.

That being said, I did get an agent out of all this. I did get an actress to sign on. I did SOMETHING. So that's what I take out of it. I accomplished fairly sizable steps in the process. So, maybe I'm just due for a break. Maybe not...but I'm a helluva lot closer to getting where I must.

So, now onto the movie next winter. We're f'ing doing it. I am f'ing writing it. What's it about? I have no f'ing idea. You see, it's a funny thing. Knowing that I'm actually going to make this next script I write has two effects on me. One, I feel energized that the fate of this script and movie rests solely with me. I know I can do it, and I know you guys can do it too. Two, writing this has been the hardest thing for me yet. There are so many things I want to incorporate. There are so many of you willing to be in it. There are so many events that are just plain hysterical, sad, depressing and heartwarming that we have all been through together. It's turning into a guest list instead ofa script, all because I can't decide who's in it, who's a side part, who makes a a cameo. I have intense guilt when I think someone doesn't have enough screen time. Then I have the added worry of people having lives. Some of you guys are, or will be married by then. You have other things that take precedent over this debacle of mine. I have nothing else. I don't even fucking want anything else. But that puts me in the precarious position of editing out certain people, or just not knowing what angle to take with the story, because I have no idea who will be available. That being said, I am trying to incorporate everybody, even if it's a cameo. But the main story will have to revolve around a group of 3-5 people max.

What's the story? Who the fuck knows? I'm constipated.