Tuesday, June 21, 2005

If I know a lot of useless info., that makes me smart, right?

Some little tid-bits unrelated to the trauma inducing 2nd act of DIRT.

I hate Florida drivers. In fact, I hate Florida people. There, I said it.

I live off of a 6 lane highway which doubles as a rice burner qualifier every night around 3am..but that's off topic. To get across the three lanes and attempt to make a left turn, it's very much like Frogger, but in a huge truck. The traffic flow is non stop thanks to the idiotic settings of the traffic lights, one to the left and right about a half mile down. Instead of having both lights turn red, allowing a snippet of time to cross to the other side, these yokels have the lights in a sort of contradictory fashion. One light turns red, the other turns green slightly before that so there's always traffic coming from one side. There is a 5 foot 'lane' in the middle where my truck has to reside, if I make it to that island, and wait for the oncoming traffic to either pass so I can get through, or I could get clipped from behind because the lane is so small my truck sticks out 6 fucking feet. What about taking a jug handle, you say? Ha! Only U-turns down here! And each lane is as small as the last...causing quite the confusion for some idiots down here who think they're NOT allowed in the center lane to turn/u-turn. They decide it's best to slow and turn directly from the left lane. Bravo! The amazing part of all of this is I managed to get a ticket for an illegal u-turn at a light down the road. It happens to be the only light I've seen that doesn't allow it. And of course, it offers up the most space to perform one. A brief re-enactment of this event:

Me: Shit, I missed the fucking turn.
Katie: Just do a U-turn up here.
Me: No u-turns at this light, though.
Katie: Just do it.
Me: Fine. But if I get a ticket, you're paying it.
Katie: Fine.
Me: I don't like it at all. But here we go...
Katie: See? Do you see any cops? Oooh..scary...I told-Oh shit, there's a cop.
Me: Thanks a fucking bunch.

Score card: No seatbelt: $71.50 Illegal U-turn: 115.50(and traffic school to avoid points) Driving with a suspended license(unbeknownst to me!): Fighting it in court. License is good. But my registration is suspended. Great work NJ DMV!

Oh yes, on a related note, Katie found some cool apartments in and around LA. It may be manageable after all....