I Want To Crack Open The County Clerks Windpipe

Remember that post I wrote about how Katie caused me to get three tickets? No? Well, that doesn't matter, I guess. But here's the end result, and some would say expected result. Which is really a shame.

The only ticket that would put points on my license was the illegal U-turn. And I'll be damned, a state which is pretty much thunderdome in terms of driving rules decides to nab me for an illegal u-turn at the only spot in Winter Park/Orlando where an illegal u-turn exists. Drivers down here are completely reprehensible. But anyway, instead of taking the points, I paid less of a fine, and had to take a 4 hour online traffic course within 90 days of payment. Since I had three different tickets, and paid them at different times, I became confused. To make this long story shorter, I was late by 5 days.

So there I am today, at the Orange County Courthouse, waiting in a humid, urine soaked, room with three people helping 100. After 45 minutes, finally, the grumpy wench summons me to her cave. I show her my certificate for the successful completion of the most inane class ever recorded. She immediately blows it off. "You're late, and now you owe money." I giggle. Not the ha ha type of giggle. The "I may impact your semi-retarded smirk with my palm" variety. But I sit silently as she types my info into her Commodore 64. (seriously, with all these rip off fines, they can't buy new computers? Or how about buying actual employees? Arrrrg!)

She glances up at me, and says "That'll be 43.80." I look and ask politely, "Nothing can be done here? It was a mistake, and it's only 5 days later. I already payed $30 for this certificate." I am almost interrupted, almost, with "No sir. The state won't accept it. It's right here on the computer." I cackle a little more mean spirited this time. I say "Why do we need you? The computer does all the work." She grunts under her breath. I smirk like Ted Bundy at a freshman girl. "Will you be paying with cash or charge?" I respond, "No, and No." She says, "The process of license suspension will begin then." She hands me my meaningless certificate back. I walk out, ready to pummel my misfortune into someone's liver.

I am now down $50, and have 2 points on my license. And have to try for insurance in NJ. If you have never heard about NJ car insurance, let me tell you, it's the biggest swindle this side of ...I don't know, I don't fall for scams, but it's surely tops the list in the very very corrupt state of NJ.

Time To Pop Out A Baby

Hellfire is holding a short horror script contest, in which the top 4 are melded into a DVD film, ala Creepshow. They recommend 20 pages. I'm ready to rummage through my smaller ideas that I haven't fleshed out into full fledged screenplays yet and cram out an entry just before the deadline, which is the 30th, if I'm not mistaken.

Go enter now! (you should be writing anyway!)

DeathDay Nears!

I have a very uneventful Birthday coming up. My 32nd. I know, I can hear everyone going "He's 32? He acts like a child!". (I do consistently get carded, so there's a feather in my cap)Well, that's only half true. I am a big kid, no doubt about that. But I'm also not immature, in a juvenile sense. I've met some guys in their 40's who I actually feel embarrassed for, because they act like infants. So, I am not of that variety. I am a definite Gen. X'er, if that even exists. I don't do anything in the way of the generation before me. My parents, and all my friends parents were married by the time they were 23, at the latest. All had kids by their mid twenties, and thought they had careers. It appears to me, they had jobs. And while my Mother and I consistently fight about what begin an adult means, I can sum it up in one sentence-be happy with what you do. My entire family had miserable, some well paying, jobs. They taught me that you suck it up, do what you hate, simply to make ends meet. No thanks.

I told my grandparents that I won't do anything I don't at least have an interest in. And I mean it. I quit my construction job of 7 years because it wasn't for me, and I knew it wasn't, for 7 years. And while my family tosses the word 'bum' or the more hip 'slacker ' around to describe me,(or is that paranoia?) I laugh in their face. I have no children. No car payment. No mortgage. No marriage. (much to Katie's chagrin) In other words, no big responsibilities that can tie me down to any place I may be residing at any specific time. I am responsible only for me. If I fail with writing, I won't be unhappy. I will die knowing I did everything I wanted, not what has been dictated to me.

Sure, I can hear the eyes roll. "Who does this punk think he is?" Well, that's sort of the answer, I am a punk in some regards. (Definition? A young person, especially a member of a rebellious counterculture group.) That is me. I make movies, write, Or Die Trying. Cheers to all you trailblazers and trendsetters!

So here we are, fast approaching my 32nd year, and I suddenly feel very happy about it.

Busy Doing Nothing, Or Something...

I must have the Summer burn out. I just don't have the fire to blog right now. I have my move coming up in a month or so, plus I'm intermittently doing my Generator Storyboards. Plus trying to find a new script to begin so that I won't be a miserable prick anymore.

So, since I am the laziest man alive right now, I will ask a question: On a desert island,(with a generator, tv and DVD player) you are allowed 5 DVDs. What do you bring, and why?

Mine are as follows:

1. The Breakfast Club-Rarely has a movie left me feeling so satisfied, for so long. I first watched this movie on VHS in about '87. I was enthralled with the hilarious back and forth dialogue, which was more intelligent than usual 'teen film' fare. The interaction of the characters was great. Some say they were stereotypical characters, but that was the point in the beginning of the film. By the end, they are all the same-lost teen agers. And it holds up very well for me, still being one of my favorite films.

2. The Shining-This is a must watch for me. It moves at a snails pace, and I love it. The camera slowly reveals things were not sure we're ready for. The music grates on the frayed end of each nerve, adding to the building tension. And we have an Oscar worthy performance from Nicholson. The scene with the bartender alone makes this disc worthy of inclusion.

3. Divorce, Italian Style-I have yet to see a dark comedy meet the standard of this one. It is hysterical, and plain awful. One of the funniest movies I have ever seen.

4. Pulp Fiction-I almost went with True Romance, but this is the pinnacle movie in QT's career thus far. I enjoy quoting it the most too. Any movie that has a line: "Oh shit, I shot Marvin in the face" is alright in my book.

5. Casino-It was tough for me to pick a Scorsese film and not take one of the three elite-Taxi Driver, Raging Bull or Goodfellas. But I find Casino more enjoyable, although a step down from those overall. I just think it's endlessly watchable. Faults and all.

Honorable mentions: High Fidelity, Deep Red, Clerks, Boogie Nights, Fright Night, April Fools Day, Magnolia, Fight Club, Mulholland Drive, The Game.

I Have Seen The Future, And It Is The Past

Download and watch the video. Then bow down. REVOLUTION IS NEAR

Why Don't You Justify My Foot Up Your Ass?

Q: Justify why this is blue? A: Because there's a blue gel over the light!>>>




That's one of the last things I remember saying in film school. We had a fairly useless lighting lab. It was all technique, and no creativity, as usual. It could be argued that's all film school students are tech geeks sans any creativity whatsoever, but I don't think so. The problem lies with the instructors. They don't allow for creativity to bleed into their tried and true formulas.

I have had many an argument about the lighting I like to showcase in my films. I don't feel I need to justify every light shown on screen. The dogma says differently. They tell you, every light must obviously come from something on screen, or off screen, but the viewer must subconsciously say, "Oh, that soft light is coming from the street lamp just off screen". Me, being a huge fan of Lynch and Argento, vehemently deny this rule. It has a place, yes. But I feel if I want to bathe my film in red light, I should be able to do so. It's a stylistic choice. I like surreal images. I enjoy that disorienting feeling I first got when I watched Suspiria, or The Lost Highway. I don't believe it takes people out of the film, I believe it transplants them further into a dream like state. They become fully immersed in their perceived surroundings. Of course, if the movie blows, the lighting will be ripped apart. But if the movie sucks, it sucks. Period. So what's the difference?

If I'm filming a comedy, then perhaps the rule applies. I doubt my lighting style would work for any movies that are comedic in tone. But I know that. That's not the point. I feel the lighting is another tool filmmakers can use to draw people into the story, and I think it's under utilized because Directors are so worried about "How can I justify this blue light?". I think of films as an escape. Why can't I make my spot more unconventional, more surreal, for tourists?