I Want To Crack Open The County Clerks Windpipe

Remember that post I wrote about how Katie caused me to get three tickets? No? Well, that doesn't matter, I guess. But here's the end result, and some would say expected result. Which is really a shame.

The only ticket that would put points on my license was the illegal U-turn. And I'll be damned, a state which is pretty much thunderdome in terms of driving rules decides to nab me for an illegal u-turn at the only spot in Winter Park/Orlando where an illegal u-turn exists. Drivers down here are completely reprehensible. But anyway, instead of taking the points, I paid less of a fine, and had to take a 4 hour online traffic course within 90 days of payment. Since I had three different tickets, and paid them at different times, I became confused. To make this long story shorter, I was late by 5 days.

So there I am today, at the Orange County Courthouse, waiting in a humid, urine soaked, room with three people helping 100. After 45 minutes, finally, the grumpy wench summons me to her cave. I show her my certificate for the successful completion of the most inane class ever recorded. She immediately blows it off. "You're late, and now you owe money." I giggle. Not the ha ha type of giggle. The "I may impact your semi-retarded smirk with my palm" variety. But I sit silently as she types my info into her Commodore 64. (seriously, with all these rip off fines, they can't buy new computers? Or how about buying actual employees? Arrrrg!)

She glances up at me, and says "That'll be 43.80." I look and ask politely, "Nothing can be done here? It was a mistake, and it's only 5 days later. I already payed $30 for this certificate." I am almost interrupted, almost, with "No sir. The state won't accept it. It's right here on the computer." I cackle a little more mean spirited this time. I say "Why do we need you? The computer does all the work." She grunts under her breath. I smirk like Ted Bundy at a freshman girl. "Will you be paying with cash or charge?" I respond, "No, and No." She says, "The process of license suspension will begin then." She hands me my meaningless certificate back. I walk out, ready to pummel my misfortune into someone's liver.

I am now down $50, and have 2 points on my license. And have to try for insurance in NJ. If you have never heard about NJ car insurance, let me tell you, it's the biggest swindle this side of ...I don't know, I don't fall for scams, but it's surely tops the list in the very very corrupt state of NJ.