Bad Language To Bad Writing Spiral

As I type away, mashing the keys, misspelling words because my fat sausage fingers can't quite hit one key at a time, I tend to take a break when I feel I have accomplished enough in that one spurt. During these breaks, I sometimes check the cool little features tucked away in Final Draft, such as what percentage of the dialogue thus far belongs to which character? Another I check is the profanity list which keeps a running count of how many curses you have used so far, what they are, and where they occur. I never change any of it because of the list, mind you, but it does make me over analyze my writing. For instance, in one script, my characters uttered fuck 23 times, mother fucker 4 times and shit 40 times. So 67 curses there. And that's my Rom/Com! (it's also a fairly dark one, but that should go without saying) To be fair, the entire screenplay contains over fifteen thousand words, so that's not too bad, is it?

So question: Do you ever feel you're cursing too much in a screenplay? Or do you feel good writing is good writing no matter if it's full of swears, or clean as a whistle? I tend to follow the latter, but I'm just curious.

Knocked Up: The Most Evil Film Ever!

I just watched Knocked Up, the Judd Apatow film, a few weeks ago. I liked it. I wasn't blown away by it. If anything, I thought Apatow kind of wussed out by making the Seth Rogen character come to his senses and begin to try and be a father. But that was that, and I hadn't thought about it much since. Until I realized there are some people who are calling the film sexist. What?

I'll deal with this quote first, from Joe Queenan of The Guardian. "the latest in a new genre of romantic comedies in which an unappealing hero gets together with a gorgeous, successful woman."

Ok, first things first, who is he to judge what male is unappealing? Secondly, even if Rogen's character Ben is unappealing for the first hour of the film, it only shows that he changes for the woman during the second half of the film. Wouldn't that constitute a man righting himself for a woman? And finally, since when do gorgeous women not date what outsiders would consider below their class? It happens all the time. Hell, it's happened to me. And I always believed it was because men are so superficial, they go after beauty, or hotness first and foremost, while woman tend to put more (too much)of an emphasis on personality. Is Alison (Heigl) too good for Ben ( Rogen) in Knocked Up? In the beginning and on the surface, yes (and if using common sense, which often has little to do with who hooks up with who). However, let me point out a few factors here.


1) The initial bar scene where Ben and Alison meet is very realistic. Know why I know this? I've had it happen to me. I met a girl who was 24, model beautiful, and we got intoxicated. I woke up at her house. We dated for a few months, and that was that. Now, I'm certainly not the ugliest man alive, and could be counted as above average in certain circles. I'm in the 70 percentile. But this girl? She is a 99 percenter. Would this anger the film critics as well? Would this anger women too? I play video games, slum around in sweats during the weekend, and hate work with a passion. I have a crude sense of humor. Yet I date pretty woman all the time. What's the problem? So what I'm trying to show here is that while woman get aggravated by seemingly slobby men who shack up with the hottest of hot woman in film, it's actually holding a mirror to the real world. Do I need to direct women to "Hot chicks with douchebags"? For any woman who wonders why females are portrayed this way on film, take a gander at the human garbage the woman over at that site get hooked up with. Then explain it to me.

2) It is Ben who steps up to the plate when told about the pregnancy. Yes he acts like a huge ass when Alison first mentions this to him during a dinner. Which is realistic for the character up to that point. But he does step up and offer support, though he has no idea what kind of support he should lend. He is doing what a man should do-owning up to his responsibility.

3) Ben changes his entire persona to become a better partner for Alison. Why is that overlooked? And they seemingly live happily ever after.

How is this sexist? Ben and Alison made a mistake. They came together to deal with it. They found that they had more in common then they thought and stay together. To me, the formula for the movie goes like this: Boy meets girl/boy and girl make bad mistake/though seemingly from different sides of the track, they try to make it work/they find out more about themselves and end up loving each other. End of story.

Since I read the review in The Guardian, I've read many women upset over this and all I can say is, deal with it! When gorgeous women in the real world stop dating ugly guys with cash, or average looking guys who make them laugh, or when they stop slobbering over ratty dive bar cover band guitarists, or when they stop giving me play, then you may have beef. Until then, realize you're actually angry at yourself, for you are the template for these films.

"Write Club" Repost: For Motivational Purposes Only

Back in February of '06, I posted the Tyler Durden Motivational System to help myself, and others, through the winter writers blues . Well here it is again, back for the attack:






Fuck off with your sofa units and serine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may.

People do it everyday, they talk to themselves... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it.

Man, I see in write club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

Listen up, maggots. You re not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.

Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that's your problem.

Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction...




I'm off to write!

I'm A Screenwriter-Back The F*ck Up!

Something amazing happened the other day. I was introduced to a person, a friend of a friend. We got to talking and eventually I was asked what I do. For the first time ever, I said "I'm a screenwriter." The first time I've said that without a long pause, without an explanation immediately following that proclamation. The first time I've said that without a tinge of embarrassment. For once I didn't fret over the inevitable follow up question, "What have you written?", or "Have I seen any of your stuff?"

I'm doing what I want to do, what I love to do, and if I die broke in the gutters of the Sunset strip, you will know me by the trail of my dead scripts.

Swingers, Los Feliz and the Money Go Round pt 1

I think I've settled on an area of LA that has both semi affordable rent, is close to downtown and Hollywood and all that those two places entail, and isn't run down and gang infested. Los Feliz, home of Swingers, the movie. And The Derby, more importantly. It's either Los Feliz, or move into Hollywood, however Hollywood is a tad more expensive. And by tad, I mean a few hundred dollars a month.

I've been talked out of west Hollywood because supposedly it is gay only. That's a joke, but that's what people make it sound like. I'm still going to check it out when me and my buddy fly out there during the summer. North Hollywood is very appealing to me if only for the arts district, but it seems like a pain in the ass to drive to Hollywood/downtown. There's like two roads leading in and out, at least that's all I see on Google Earth.

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Now, about my writing. I've been intermittently working on all my projects. This time of year is very slow in the construction business, so we're driving an average of 4 hours per day (up and back total) just to get a days pay. Which leaves me run down and aggravated by the time I get home. But the good news is this lease is up at the end of February, and that will loosen up my purse strings a ton. I've been paying $900 a month for a one bedroom here, and I couldn't afford it from day 1. Not necessarily the rent alone, but the bills and rent combined do throw me into debt monthly.

And it'll all be over by March 1st! So in the mean time, I'm focusing on The Office spec exclusively, since that has a deadline date. Then when I move into my new place, I'll have more time, money and a new lease on life to get things done.

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The WGA and the strike/

Just got into a debate with my boss about the strike. He thinks the writers are ridiculous in asking for residuals...for anything at all. He used this example: If I hire someone to draw up blueprints for a house, and then get someone to build that house, do I then have to give them a cut of the money when I sell it?

I'm no Craig Mazin, but this analogy is terrible for about 12 different reasons. I won't bore you with the details, because frankly, others have argued this issue more eloquently than I ever could. (Mr. August, Mr. Mazin) I'll just sum up my feelings. The writers deserve everything they're asking for. On a personal level, I sometimes look at screenwriters as martyrs for a film project. They do all of this work to get the initial idea into ready to shoot condition, which includes getting their script tampered with by the suits, then they're tossed aside being paid far less than they should. On a professional level, I understand there's a hierarchy in Hollywood, so I don't expect writers to suddenly be placed on a pedestal like directors are. And I don't expect the WGA to gain everything they have put on the table. But I do support them. My boss is...well...a boss. He sees money going from his pocket to anyone else, and he has a conniption. Even paychecks. He can't stand to pay people, but looks at it as a necessary evil. So he only begrudgingly gives out our hard earned pay. Currently, that reminds me of the Hollywood big wigs.

"California (California) Knows How To Party"

As I type this, I can barely believe it, but yes, I have decided to move to California. More specifically, either downtown LA, West Hollywood or 'the valley'. It's kind of time. I have no relationship holding me back. No children. No home. If anyone dies out there, it'll be me alone. No one besides me depending on my pay check.

Yes, it just felt like time to commit. So I have decided that by the end of this year, I shall be in la la land. It also gives me a nice goal for finishing up the projects I have here. All in all, I'm excited about it.