At Least I'm Not Swinging A Hammer!

Before I get to this totally enlightening post, I want to state that I will be showing this Francis Ford Coppola pic on every entry until I don't feel exactly like that.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am basically treading water down here in Florida. I have no cohorts down here. I have no money. I have no drive except the one that tells me to get out of here. I'm basically living in a sloth like state. Ideas come and go, yet I stare into space. "Do I want to start a project?" "What's the point?" Of course, I do want to take this on like a job, but I feel very out of sort with knowing I'm moving and making a film up in NJ, and it's contrasting with my anemic life down here to kind of leave me floating somewhere in purgatory. Which way do I go? I just feel I'm being distracted from my work with other concerns. I think I should just focus on Generator, and finish everything I can with regards to that film. Be totally prepared for the shoot. Make a budget sheet, finally finish my stinking storyboards and stuff like that. But it's that writer in me who is balking at this idea. "You don't write, you cease to be a writer! Muhahahaha!" I am so paranoid when I'm not writing. I feel like by not writing every single day, I am wasting away. That was the main problem with me storyboarding. I thought of it as beneath my writing. (Not being able to draw worth a lick has something to do with it too) I should just whip myself back into shape and realize that Generator should be first and foremost. A lot depends on it.

And maybe that's the real problem I'm having-knowing that my entire life depends on making this, or else I'm a failure. I left everything behind in order to make movies-my job, my family, my girlfriend, my friends-and maybe I'm just afraid of taking that last step to where there is no turning back. Where I am forced to run the show, keep paperwork in order, make cuts, direct actors, stay up editing at night, dealing with the disappointment when something doesn't work, buying the equipment-doing all this, and then finding out my film sucks...and being devastated.

I have to fight through this growing malaise and fucking focus.

Just Some Ramblings

I don't mind misleading advertising. In fact, since I expect it, I kind of laugh at it from time to time, thinking "Who in their right mind would believe this garbage?" So when I see the commercials for Trading Spouses (all of last week until I couldn't take it anymore), which aired this past Wednesday, I thought the show looked outrageous. The lady was screaming and ranting on and on. And so I had to see it. So, I tune in and watch the first ten minutes, and all is okay. Then before going to the first commercial, they show the fanatic footage that I'm tuning in for, and say "Stay Tuned because this is coming before the split", which means before they go back to their regular families. So I tune in. The second part is mildly humorous, and then the commercial break comes, and again, they tout what's coming up, which is the flipping out. So again, I stay tuned. This happens two more times at the commercial breaks. Then the show ends, and they say Tune in next week for part 2, so you can see this, and shows the woman flipping out.

It was a two parter! Now listen, I'm not one to berate advertisers since I understand it has to be done, but this is just ...dirty. I have no problems with those advertisements before the show to get people to tune in. But during the show, in which they know it's not in that episode? That is a very unethical practice, in my opinion. You have already gathered an audience through the pre air date commercials, so you're going to keep lying to the audience while they're watching? Good God, I was infuriated! Is it just me, or is that over the line? I have never watched a show where the in episode advertisements were for the next show. Fucking horseshit!

At any rate, I am not tuning in for the second part this coming Wednesday. In fact, I will download it for free and watch it at my leisure. So screw you!

----------------
Had a few things going down on the writing front. Seems I jumped the gun on Kill 'Em All. I have the idea and everything, but something kept calling me back to my unfinished script, "The Last Party". I figured I should finish that, since it may be the second film I will actually shoot this year. So KEA is on hold for now while I finish something I think will further my career, which is making my own film. Am I wrong in thinking it's more important for me to write and shoot my scripts, instead of writing and entering contests and trying to send them out to agents ? Anyway, I added 5 pages off the top of my head to "The Last Party", and I hate that title, by the by. Especially since it's in use for some crappy horror movie, I think. So there you have it-I'm writing my second feature that I will shoot myself. I might actually shoot this one first, just to get everyone comfortable with acting and taking direction from me. Plus this script is a comedy, so it'll be a nice warmup for us.

----------------

It seems that if I had any connections at all, April Fool's Day 2 might have had a chance. There are now almost 5 horror movies that have an uncanny resemblance to my script, and it pisses me off that they get released, yet mine languishes behind, even though I had the idea 3 or 4 years ago, and wrote the first outline 2 1/2 to 3 years ago. In the last year, at least 3 of those movies have received good reviews for being original and fun. Which frankly, is a good old fashioned kick in the gonads to me. My script is collecting dust while these half assed scribes are getting my fucking pub. There is still a chance of course, but I have to turn to drastic measures with the end result being burning a few bridges. The problem is, I don't know if they're still standing anyway...and I may never know.

The whole thing is just bizzare. This manager/agent, in responding to a stern email I sent him(Unintentionally stern, believe it or not), said he would stop trying and I could get someone else if I wished, but that he was very interested in pursuing this. It doesn't seem that way to me. I haven't heard one thing from him since, besides a confirmation email saying he received my 3rd draft. I have no idea what to do. He doesn't return calls, but I've found that nobody does, so that's not all that unusual. My bigger problem lies in the fact that he doesn't respond to my emails. I mean, to me, it isn't all that hard to say "Nothing yet", and goodbye. But then again, I don't know the business.

So, to make this seem shorter, I have the producers phone number and business address. I'm going to call and see if I can't get my script in front of him. Of course, they don't take unsolicited material, but I may drop a name or two, since I now have nothing to lose.

So there you have. I'm in a perpetual state of purgatory, and have nowhere to go but...well...up or down, I guess.

Kill 'Em All!

My new screenplay adventure is one I have thought on for a long time. I first had the idea of doing a western after seeing The Wild Bunch and Once Upon A Time In The West. Prior to seeing those two classics, I had not been a western fan at all. I loathe John Wayne movies. In fact, the only western I have ever enjoyed was The Unforgiven. After seeing both TWB and OUaTITW, I realized why that genre never appealed to me-it was too cookie cutter. The cowboys were clean and righteous, and the bad guys always got their comeuppance. The Unforgiven included a theme of revenge, of doing something that was just, not necessarily morally right.

Enter The Wild Bunch. (Now, this is my personal examination of the film, and what it signified to me. I have read no expert breakdown of the symbolism of The Wild Bunch.) To me, the movie meant the assassination of the ideology of that old west mentality, and mythology. It's quite clear to the crew early on that they are going to end up dead. So when they wander into that town with that famous shot (above), they do so with the knowledge that the west of the old is over, and so are they. It's almost a suicide mission, for the genre, and for the characters. So that's my half assed interpretation of The Wild Bunch, which as far as I feel like going presently, because this all leads to....

Kill 'Em All. My new script jaunt. It's a psuedo western, or a neo western, or a damn bloodbath, who the hell knows for sure?-but one thing I definitely know- it's extremely nihilistic in tone. This will be a bleak story, with some macabre humor. It will be revenge, loneliness, hatred..but most of all, it will be greed. I have the pictures in my head of the key scenes, which means it's time to begin the process. So finally, I can breathe again. Finally, I am not wasting my time. Finally, I can say I'm a writer. And finally, I can feel I have a purpose.

At least until I finish the first draft, in which case I feel like a complete worthless shit again.

Like This Should Surprise Me, But...

Black Christmas and Day of the Dead are both set for remakes. Fantastic news from the land of idiots.

There is no end to this. People always argue with me, saying that this has always been how Hollywood operates. But I'm telling anyone who will listen, this is unprecedented. There are literally dozens of remakes in the pipeline for the next year or two. It's so disheartening being a writer/director these days. Sometimes I wonder if I should just throw in the towel.

Frustration level is very f'n high. Especially since I haven't embarked on a new script in two months. Time to let my anger flow, ladies and gents.

***UPDATE***
Jump for joy, little ones! The Hills Have Eyes....remade!!!! Good Lord, it justs gets worse and worse.

Boo! A Scare For You!

I happened upon this*** 9/11 proof one night while I was researching the Illuminati at 4 in the morning. Needless to say, it's really eerie, and even frightening to see that these playing cards show, without doubt, what happened on 9/11. Problem is, this ***game was released in 1995! Say what you will about conspiracies, but in some cases we should really take notice that people mocking conspiracy theories are playing directly into the hands of the conspirators. I happen to be into conspiracy theory, but am rather rooted in reality as well. I'm more of a 'where there's smoke, there's fire' person. This seems pretty scary to me.

Not only that, but a day after the attacks, a friend showed me how you could fold our paper money into pictures of the attack. The one dollar bill can be folded so the back shows the twin towers standing. The five dollar bill can be folded to show the twin towers hit by the words united and america(or american, the two airlines that actually hit them. (Off memory, I believe I'm correct so far) The ten dollar bill shows the towers burning, complete with a person falling out of one tower. The twenty dollar bill shows a pile of rubbish, no towers. Now just as weird as it is alone, what makes it even more unsettling is how this information came to fruition the very next day. Seems like it was leaked online. But by who? I find it hard to believe someone was fiddling around with a 5 dollar bill, and just fell upon this.

***(I checked the game site, and these cards appear to be the real deal)

***disclaimer-I know there is a religious slant to this, but if you actually read it, and look at the cards, it proves pretty interesting, even with the heavy handed end paragraph***

A last thought for the day: Have you ever considered the classics, 1984, A Brave New World and Animal Farm were not the cautionary tales they're made out to be, but a blue print for what was going to happen? Aldous Huxley, writer of A Brave New World, was very steeped in the illuminati tradition. He was turored by none other than Aleister Crowley, occultist and satanist, who of course had infamous relations with the Illuminati. So, perhaps Huxley had some insider knowledge, and was not a prophet, but a messenger for the NWO.

All Cats Are Grey

I am at a standstill with what to pursue next. I have a few ideas, but none spark my interest so far. I'm in that grey area where I am anticipating actually shooting my first feature in the coming months(and documenting it day to day here), but I also know I have to do something more active, rather than just wait for that shooting date to come. I wish I could just sleep until about February, then wake up with my Panasonic and start shooting. I am so pumped up to get that movie going...it's hard to concentrate on anything else.

I am also scouting for locations for another horror idea I have. The problem is, I need to know about availability of these two places I want to shoot at. I want to write my script specifically for either place. So it's imperative I actually find out the cost(for Byberry mental hospital in Philly, which has been closed for 15 years), or what permits will be needed(for filming in the Pine Barrens in South Jersey), if any, to begin. If I do get any word on either place, I will write a second feature to shoot immediately after Generator. Maybe even make it a trilogy of films, who knows?

Too ambitious? There's no such thing in my mind.