I Know Less About The Movie Business Than...Anyone In The World, But..

In the 80's, I went through a huge horror movie kick. I loved them all. In the mid 80's, April Fool's Day was released. And it completely polarized the horror community. (In fact, go to any horror film forum, and bring up AFD, and see the varied response you get.) I loved it. It was funny, and refreshing. The acting was good, and I didn't want to kill any of the characters off, which is unusual for a slasher flick. Normally, I hate every character in the movie, and root for the killer. Not so this time. Bif was damn funny...

So almost two years ago, after watching my brand spanking new AFD dvd, I was thinking about the plot heavily, as I often do after viewing a film. I jumped in the shower, and like a shot of adrenaline, the idea of the sequel came to me. I had never even thought of a sequel, or of writing it, because really, what's the point? I don't own the characters, and I've been told countless times "you can't sell a sequel"But I would not be denied. I had to write it, if only for me. The only way to describe the feeling is if you discovered Plutonium by accident, and wanted to tell everyone about it. I was in my own personal jubilee zone. The only time in my life such a zone existed, me being a morose, depressed personality and all.

Cut to six months later, and I have a polished first draft. So I'm cruising the net late one night, when I decide to look up Deborah Foreman, star of AFD, Valley Girl, My chauffeur and many other '80s flicks I have a great fondness for. She has an email for her new business, and I shoot a nice fan letter over to her, also stating I've written a sequel, and would she give it a gander. I think I wrote, "If it is garbage, and I have wasted your time, feel free to lambast me on you website", and I left my contact info.

So I go to sleep, thinking nothing of it. I wake up and check my email, and to my amazement, she has responded. I nervously stare at the title of the email, which reads RE:April Fool's Day 2. I stare for five minutes, wondering how bleak the response will be. I click on it quick, like ripping a band aid off an infected cut. And she proceeds to tell me she is very interested, and to send it to her. And if she doesn't like it, she will "Lambast me to everyone and anyone she knows". I stare at my screen which has her address on it. Then I look at my script. Well, needless to say, I had a new third act I was working on, and I was only at page 68. I responded to her that I would send it shortly, as I had to write another 25-30 pages. (How's that for honesty?) She says fine, and I'm off.

I finish it in two days, and overnight it. I shoot her an email just to tell her to expect it, and I sleep like a rock. The next afternoon, I open up my email, which has her response resting in wait. The title? Blank. Nada. A bucket of ice water pours over my shoulders, and I am experiencing some slight nausea. I open the email, which is very short and succinct. I scan it first, not really reading the words, and realize it's all of maybe ten words. I look away, knowing that I have been rejected, just like Diane Pizzo did in the eighth grade. With a smile. (Damn her!) Then I actually read it, and it says, "Jason, I loved it. Call me. 555.555.5555" (the number was further down, so I didn't notice it while scanning) After breaking down onto the floor with weakness in the knees, I begin my pacing, back and forth. Little known fact about me(unless you've met me): Speaking with people for the first time is like torture for me. I stammer, I look anywhere but their eyes, I mumble, and I say some of the dumbest things this side of Mike Tyson. But I get the nerve, and finally, 4 hours later I dial the phone...and promptly hang up, because no, I am not ready. Let me get a beer first.

Finally, I do call. And she answers. I stammer a little, finally blurting out, so you liked it, huh? She doesn't even have my name yet, but I have decided to skip ahead, evidently. She gives me the enthusiastic greeting, and we proceed to have a half hour discussion about my script. She tells me her worries with it, and she tells me some things she thought were the funniest lines of dialogue she's ever read. We talk about how I would direct it. About how we would get financing, and if I knew anyone. I tell her my ideas, and she tells me hers, like a few different ending ideas. It is by far the most exhilarating conversation I have ever had. By the end, she offers me a letter of intent to star, which I grudgingly accept. I now have my star. She gives me a few of her old contacts, and we hang up, sure this is leading somewhere. And it is.

Later in the week, through her contacts, I get my first manager, who loves the script. He agrees it has some work to be done on it, but says he'll track down Frank Mancuso Jr., who produced the first, to see if he would give it a read. We must go through him, then Paramount, because one or the other owns the characters. And Mancuso is in tight there. All of this happened in three months time, all because I had the bright idea of sending an email to a person who I thought would never respond.

So, where does it stand now? Damn if I know. I learned the hard way we, 'aspiring screenwriters that is, think in terms of real time, and managers, agents and producers think in terms of film time. And film time is much slower. Last I heard, the script hadn't reached Mancuso yet, but my manager still had a big interest in doing so, and said if he didn't believe in the script, he wouldn't track down anyone. When he hears something, then I will too. And that is that. I wait like the thousands of other hopefuls, hoping against all that is sane that my script will get read by the one person who can do something with it. But I have faith. I was in this position before, and that one person gave me all I have in regards to the screenplay going through the proper channels, so who's to say what will happen next? All I know is, I was just some punk just moved to FL from Jersey, didn't have a pot to piss in, and I took a gamble on something I believed in. Has it paid off? Just from the experience, in a way, yes.

So what's the elongated moral to this story? Write something you believe in. Don't write that high concept Rom/Com because that's what sells, unless you want to. Take some chances. Email and cell phones are impressive technologies, and they open all kinds of contact options, as does the internet. I cannot stress enough how useful the internet is. I have the contact numbers for all kinds of producers and agents, all for free. It takes a little creativity to get, like signing up to Variety or Imdb pro during a free trial offer, or something along those lines, but it is worth it.

Another great...and I mean great idea is to find actors who were once well known, and maybe haven't been making films for awhile. Watch their old movies. See if they can fit a role in your script. After all, they don't forget how to act. Next, get their contact info. Many of them have personal emails to contact them directly. Never underestimate what contacts former working actors still have. Now, I'm not talking a Burt Reynolds old time star, but someone like Judd Nelson, or that guy from Gremlins. How about Andrew McCarthy? Shit, take a look at the old horror movie staples, such as Allison Steele. I have sent emails to each of these actors, and all responded. These are actors who will be approachable, and open to reading your script. And they may hold the key to your success. They may not want to act anymore, and that's fine, but you'll find you actually get somewhere with these folks, instead of getting the run around constantly. Make sure you're complimentary, and mention some of their notable performances as your favorites. But not the role they're known for(Like The Breakfast Club). One of their second tier movies is more impressive.

Because of Deborah Foreman, my script was sent to George Clooney(Section Eight Productions), Bruce Campbell, Dean Devlin, Frank Mancuso and Anthony Hickox(?). I don't know if they even read it, but it was sent to them. And really, that's the first step, isn't it?

Now, go write a story you love, and look up James Farentino! Actually, I think I will look up James Farentino....

The World Is A Toilet

During the news last night, I became misty eyed when a man described his final moments with his wife. He couldn't hold onto her any longer, and she knew this. She said her goodbyes and was engulfed by the rising tides. It was perhaps the worst thing I have heard in my life, just imagining the torture this man will endure for the rest of his life.

Unfortunately, my sympathy turned to extreme rage when I witnessed the video of the looters. These people should be shot on sight. Dead. Sure, stealing some bread and water in a semi peaceful manner, okay, in these desperate times...I can accept that. Stealing televisions and jewlery, setting buildings ablaze, and shooting cops-I can only hope they are shot dead and added to this already horrific body count. And it will only get worse. Thankfully, I read some citizens are taking the law into their own hands by force. These people should be given medals.

Using a tragedy to get yourself a new pair of Adidas makes me want to kill. So hopefully, you'll dress like a target.

Ænema

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

It's a
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will cuz
I sure could use a vacation from this

Silly shit, stupid shit...

One great big festering neon distraction,
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied-

Learn to swim.

Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
Mom's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be.

Learn to swim.

Fuck L Ron Hubbard and
Fuck all his clones.
Fuck all those gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.

Learn to swim.

Fuck retro anything.
Fuck your tattoos.
Fuck all you junkies and
Fuck your short memory.

Learn to swim.

Fuck smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas.
Fuck these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses.

Learn to swim.

Cuz I'm praying for rain
And I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.
I wanna watch it all go down.
Mom please flush it all away.
I wanna watch it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.

Time to bring it down again.
Don't just call me pessimist.
Try and read between the lines.

I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change, my friend.

I wanna see it all come down.
suck it down.
flush it down.

Being Gun Shy With A Gun In Your Face

I have been talking to this guy for about 5 days now. He works for a independent producer, who we'll call Dave. He tells me they have real interest in some kick ass script ideas, and I tell him about my first script, which I always thought would be a great low budget film. He loves the idea, and I sign a non-disclosure agreement with them. Of course, my nerves being rattled at this point, I immediately second guess that decision. I look them both up multiple times on IMDB, and they are who they say they are. The guy I'm talking to is the special effects guy for 'Dave's' productions, which I see actually do exist. I google them several times with different variations, something like "**** ***** scams" or ***** and **** production scams", and nothing negative can be found. I even saved the i.m's, just in case I would need proof of our conversations.

The bottom line is, I have found nothing bad on either of them, they both have credits on IMDB in their respective fields, and my script is registered. Yet, I still am nervous about it.

I think it's time I show them my first born, and see where it goes. It's time to bite the bullet. Even if it's low, low money, if I get a writing credit, I am happy. However, if it's low low money, with no credit at all, it will be a harder decision. Then what? Well, I've decided it's still a sale, no matter how small. I am trying to live as a professional writer, and everyone has to start somewhere. How can I turn down any amount when someone wants to pay for my work?

Hopefully, they will dig the script enough, and then I can give you guys the nitty gritty.

Tom Savini, Generator SFX

Okay, maybe that title is a little bit presumptuous. But I did email him a very complimentary letter lauding his skills, which I really do think are the best out there. Of course, I intercut the praise with some requests for help on my first feature. And like the kindly gent he is, he responded almost immediately. He said

Thanks Jason, and good luck. I would love to help, but can't say when. I am really, really busy.

Probably a nice way of saying no, but hey, at least he responded to a fan, which is more than I can say for some lesser talents. And who knows, he's been known to help out on independent features for young filmmakers almost free of charge.

So I decided to send him a response to his response in which I basically said, "If you have any time in the future, and feel like getting your hands bloodier, than by all means shoot me an email." I then left my contact info., and that was that.

Anyway, that's my brush with what could have been for this very early morning on the 30th of August, as I wait for my wash to dry.

Out Of Left Field

Suddenly, my first screenplay may have some interest. Stay tuned for all the sordid, then heartbreaking details.

I'm A Tad Confused

I am currently storyboarding Generator, and have come across a problem. Do I layout each camera angle, or the overview of the shot? As it stands right now, I have 6 different camera angles/shots for the first scene. I'm wondering if I should just show the scene as I picture it, then work within that framework once I begin shooting? Or am I supposed to be this obsessive with it, and break it down from wide shot, to Cl/U, then to Medium shot...ect..? I guess that could be kept for the actual shot list. Anyone have a semi educated opinion on how in depth storyboards are supposed to be??